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More About Me

Just where did this guy come from, anyway?

That might be what some of you are asking right about now.  And, I suppose, it’s about time I really explain myself.

I’m not particularly new to blogging, or to writing, and yet, this is a new blog.  For those of you inclined to follow sports, you can see my other completely sports related (and largely fantasy sports related) blogs by clicking here.  Yes, I said sports and fantasy sports.  Yes, I’m aware that a certain percentage of my reading audience just rolled their collective eyes.  But it doesn’t bother me, and I’ll pretend I didn’t see it.

About a year ago, after writing a very long, personal account of a favorite childhood memory surrounding the NCAA men’s basketball tournament, I paused to consider how this blog would fit into the format of the website.  I have a green light on that site to publish anything I want, on any subject I want.  This time, however, I felt the need to save the blog as a draft and refer it to my webmaster.  He read it over and got back to me the next day: “That might be the single best story I’ve ever read.  But, I agree with you.  It doesn’t seem to fit with the website.  It seems more appropriate to put on a personal blog.”

Ugh.  A personal blog. I had started one of those before, and this absolutely would NOT fit on a personal blog, either.  When making a personal blog, you spend a good portion of the day thinking, was that blogworthy?  Is THAT the best I have to blog about today? And, over time, you consider less and less to be worth writing about.  Eventually, you stop looking, and stop writing.  Nobody on earth wants to read about the tedium and minutia which fills your daily routine. That, to me was the problem of the personal blog.  Daily life just isn’t all that awesome.

But the post I had written sat on my hard drive, long after I deleted it from the servers of the other website, and the idea of SOMEHOW fitting it into a personal blog began playing at the back of my mind.  And, then, a plan began to form.

So, now, I’m going to let you in on the secret of this site.  This is NOT the kind of blog where I talk about my trip to Walmart and the insanity that happened to me there.  Why?  Because I’ve done that, and in my experience, that leads to burnout before you know it.  Besides, there was no insanity in my trip to Walmart earlier (they were out of glue though.  Is that insanity?  Is it even vaguely interesting?  It was not some exotic superglue used to attach an elephant to your car bumper, because they sell that in the automotive department, and I always wanted to try it but until today I couldn’t find an elephant.  There was no elephant … or elephant glue.  Just a shortage of school glue… and probably a shortage of glitter as well because I assume the supply/demand cycle of glue and glitter are intricately related).

No.  This site is where I will tell only the most interesting stories of my life, told in absolutely no particular order.  Think of it like this:  have you ever gotten trapped into a conversation by some senior citizen.  Maybe you took the kids to the park, and they start climbing on the brightly colored plastic playground and you take a seat in the shade on a park bench.  And you’re just about to nod off to sleep when some old man smelling faintly of corned beef and aftershave takes a seat beside you.  And then they start to speak to you, and you nod politely and discuss such boring topics as the weather and the price of produce when something he has just said suddenly registers in your brain, and he’s now talking about the price of gas when you blurt out…

You: I’m sorry.  Did you say you’re building a solar powered zombie survival shelter?

Old Coot: Well, obviously.  There’s not going to be a reliable power grid after the zombie apocalypse.

You: That… sounds… reasonable…

Old Coot: Doesn’t it?  I thought of the idea in the early 80’s when I was the tour bus driver for REO Speedwagon.

You: Wait, you thought of this while driving REO Speedwagon around?  On tour?

Old Coot: Not the zombie survival shelter.  Just the solar powered part of it.  I thought of the zombie survival shelter while discussing zombies with Dr. Timothy Leary in 1968.

You: I’m sorry, can you start from the beginning?  This is the Best.  Story. EVER!

That’s my blog, in a nutshell.  I’m the old coot in this analogy.  I don’t smell like corned beef, though.  The point here is this: I plan on recounting some of the best memories I have of my insane life, and believe me, I have lived one hell of an insane life.  But I plan on revealing these stories in anecdotal form, springing from things I take note of around me in my daily routine.

That’s all you get, folks.  If you’re interested, read on.  Or, if you just find me amusing, keep reading.  Follow my story, as I detail the road I have traveled through life… in no particular order.

4 Comments
  1. After reading this and the naked story you are now my favourite person. I’m not even going to try to say something funny back.
    I will pay you to write an about me about me?

    • I am SO glad I stumbled across your blog the other day. YOU are freakin hilarious. I laughed until the tears came at today’s post.

      But as for paying me to write an about you page… I didn’t really even write a proper about ME page lol.

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