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About Me

a·bout  [uhbout]  preposition

  1. of; concerning; in regard to:  the book was about the fall of Rome.
  2. connected or associated with: there is something strange about that girl.
  3. near; close to: it must be about 3 o’clock.
  4. in or somewhere near: he’s about the office.
  5. on every side of; around: the fence runs about the property.
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This is my “about” page, which apparently I’m supposed to have.  I wasn’t entirely sure what to do with this page, so I decided to start by defining the word about (see, above).  Now, since this page is supposed to be “about me” really, and not “about about” as putting a definition of the word about would seem to make it, I will now define what is about me, per the definition of about. 
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a·bout’ me [uhbout  mi] mandatory blog page
  1. of me; concerning me; in regard to me:  I guess the only things that are ‘of’ me, meaning springing from me, would be my two children, Bryce and Charlotte.  Concerning me are such varied topics as the instability of the global economy, the destruction of our own environment, and why it smells so funny in this town at night (mostly the last one).  In regard to me, somehow, makes me think of the film Regarding Henry, and the fact that I never saw it, but I think it’s either the story of a gun shot victim or the story of how an illiterate man learns to read.  I can’t remember which one Regarding Henry is.  I should just IMDB it at this point, but I’ve already written all this and I’d hate to delete it because I at least put forth an effort.  Anyway, you should all go see Regarding Henry.  It’s probably very moving.  I think it either stars Sean Penn or Harrison Ford, which, really, you can’t go wrong with either one.  I just remembered that this page is supposed to be about me, not about Regarding Henry, and now I feel shame.  Deep deep shame.
  2. connected or associated with me: I am, luckily, not a conjoined twin, and therefore there is nothing connected with me.  I’m actually not really sure there is anything associated with me, either.  So for now, we’ll just stick to the original example from the first definition, and say that there’s something strange about me.
  3. near, close to me: There’s quite a bit about me at the moment. The computer, of course.  There’s a coffee cup, mostly empty, and a plate, completely empty.  There’s an ashtray, but I don’t smoke.  Figure that one out. There’s also a digital camera, but the memory card is stuck in the computer and I can’t find the tweezers I normally use to retrieve the memory card.  So, there’s one thing that’s NOT about me.  Damn tweezers.
  4. in or somewhere near me: In me?  Um, guts.  Brains.  Other… fluids.  For somewhere near, see above.
  5. on every side of me; around me:  That’s God, right?  Is the answer, God? I think I remember that from Sunday school.  I suppose that is meant to make you feel safe and happy, but all I can remember thinking is, “He’s got you surrounded. Come out with your hands up.”  

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Wow.  I’ve written the most complete About Me page EVER!  Self high five!  In the face.  Which feels a bit like slapping myself…

  1. Regarding Henry is most definitely Harrison Ford. And he does both in that movie. Well “does” meaning he got shot and learned to read. Now you know and didn’t have to do any of the work. Win. Also I almost died reading this. Laughing. Not from being shot. Like Harrison Ford in Regarding Henry. See how I brought it full circle there?

    • FINALLY someone told me about Regarding Henry. And I didn’t even have to watch it, so, bonus for me.

      Good to hear you enjoyed my page (sorry I nearly killed you).

  2. I have zero regard for Henry. But this is really funny. I hate About Me pages.

    • I do, too. On my sports blog, the webmaster sends me a reminder about once a month that I haven’t written my about me page. I’ve been blogging there for 2 years.

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