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Blowing on My Fingers Like Verbal Kint

December 5, 2012

…And Just Like That…

So, some of you may have noticed that I pulled a bit of a vanishing act.  It was entirely unintentional, but in the end it was totally my own fault.  I have a blog post I totally need to do, but first, let me tell you about my lost two weeks.

So, remember Memento Mark?  Well, he needed my help again.  It was apparently time to paint his house, which also needed to be scraped and whatnot.  Aaaand… he’s not allowed on ladders due to his head injuries.  So.  Yeah.  I volunteered my time again.  I thought I could crank it out quickly, but it turned into a 3 day ordeal which ate up entirely too much time.  After that, on Wednesday of last week, I headed to Hollie’s sister’s house for Thanksgiving.  You may be asking yourself, “visiting the twin sister of your ex for Thanksgiving… isn’t that a special type of hell?”  You don’t know the half of it.  I went a day early because they needed help spreading landscaping gravel over their back yard.  That’s 8 TONS of landscaping gravel.  And I ended up doing half the job myself.  Fun times.  Then there was Thanksgivings… plural.  Because I did two Thanksgiving gatherings while in that part of the west valley.  Both were slightly awkward, though one was much worse than the other.  Meanwhile, at Hollie’s sister’s house, there are only 2 computers and there were 11 of us staying there, so access to the internet was limited.  When I finally got back home on Saturday, I had 2 days to do a week’s worth of school work, which I completed.  The first half of this week, then, was lost mainly due to being tired of everything.  My kids were home from school with highly contagious strep throat (ask me how I know it was highly contagious!) and we spent three days playing games on the Wii and board games.  Finally, we went BACK to Hollie’s twin sister’s house for another weekend because some family that wasn’t able to join us for Thanksgiving was able to fly down.  This particular member of Hollie’s family happens to be one of my favorite people in the world.  In fact, I would have readily agreed to father her child if I hadn’t had my little procedure before she asked me for a donation.

Now I’m back.  And, judging by the comments on here, the messages on my Facebook, and the tweets on Twitter, I was truly missed.  And, honestly, I missed all of you.  Thanks for all of the comments and thoughts… it’s nice to see you guys keeping track of me!

SunshineAwardI am Sunshiny as FUCK

So, I totally won a blog award!  This time, the award comes to me courtesy of Three Monkeys and a Martini and is the Sunshine Award.  At first I was a bit confused.  I mean… sunshine?  Me??  But, no, I decided I’m TOTALLY Sunshiny.  I am a ray of sunshine shot out of the ass of a unicorn dry-humping a rainbow.  Hm.  You know, that sounded a lot classier in my mind.  Well, the point here is that I won an award, thus proving my continued excellence.  As you all know by now, with great blogging awards comes great responsibility.  By that, I mean there are rules which must be followed.  In this case, the rules are:

  1. Answer some questions about yourself.
  2. Pass the award along to 5 deserving blogs.

I know I usually try to skirt the rules, but this one seems simple enough that I guess I’ll leave it alone and just answer it.  In fact… I promised to answer each question in Tweet form: 140 characters or less with hashtags!  So, let’s see the questions:

What is your favorite Christmas movie?

I’ll go with Elf. I like answering my phone, “Buddy the Elf, what’s your favorite color?” Telemarketers pass out from laughing. #SoWorthIt.

What is your favorite flower?

The day lily variety Bela Lugosi. 1) My mom loved day lilies. 2) Someone named a dark red flower after the dude who played Dracula. #SuckIt

What is your favorite non-alcoholic beverage?

NON Alcoholic?  Way to suck the fun out of a question.  Okay then, I guess I’ll go with hot chocolate.  Mmm… #WarmChocolatyGoodness

What is your passion?

Can I get back to you on this one?  I mean, I have MANY passions.  My one, singular, passion, though?    Hmmm… #AvoidingTheQuestion

What is your favorite time of year?

Winter… when those of us residing in Arizona get to brag about having the windows open on New Years Day. #GrilledThanksgivingTurkey

What is your favorite time of day?

Midnight… when I’m wide awake and doing my writing.  I have always been an #Insomniac #SleepIsForLosers #InsomniaFTW

What is your favorite physical activity?

Sex?  I think?  Is that what the kids call it?  Hard to remember… it’s been so long. #ThatsWhatSheSaid #BySheIMeanMyRightHand #EwwGross

What was your favorite vacation?

I once stole a vacation to Las Vegas and Disneyland from a casino.  True story… subject of a #FutureBlogPost #AvoidingAnotherQuestion

So there you have it!  I successfully answered all those questions in tweet format.  Now, to spread some sunshine, and by that I mean pass the Sunshine Award along to some deserving blogs.  Only… yeah I got stuck on this for the last three days.  I have, in the past, adhered to a policy of only handing awards to blogs I haven’t awarded before, and that have never before received said award.  I’ve spent three days going, “OH! I KNOW WHO!”  …only to then see that this blog already had the Sunshine Award sticker.  After three days of self-induced aggravation, I just picked 5 deserving blogs.  I don’t really care if I’ve already given you an award, or if you’ve already gotten one of these before.  I’m awarding it anyway so deal with it!

My Nominees:

funnypolishgirl – I’ve been holding off on nominating this blog for anything, because I thought it might be a dead blog.  But, I’m doing it anyway.  It’s very funny, though the posts seem to be few and far between.

DaBie Hive – I’ll be honest, she may have already won one of these (“may have” = “SO totally”).  Still, she cracks me up and is definitely worthy of this award.

Valerie Nunez and Flying Platypi – I know I already gave her an award in the past, but she’s been through a hurricane since then, so it’s like she’s starting from scratch.  Somehow.  Sort of.  Shut up, I can do whatever I want.

Cerebral Milkshake – Again I already gave this blog an award.  And, she hasn’t been through any sort of natural disaster outside of living in Mesa, Arizona (which, really, is bad enough).

Insomniac’s Dream – Not only does she have the Sunshine Blog award sticker on her blog already… BUT she gave the award to the person who gave ME the award.  Oh well.  I love this blog and have been wanting to give them something.  Besides, again, suck it.  I’ll do what I want!

So there you have it.  Did I totally cop out on the giving the award away?  Maybe.  BUT I’VE BEEN AT IT FOR THREE DAYS!  I give up.  I surrender.  I must move on with my life.

Also, just for shiz and gigz, if you have a blog which has never received an award, mention it in the comments.  If I get another award and I like what you write, I’ll be passing stuff your way.  That is… IF I get another award.  Frankly, this thing might have put an end to all that award stuff.


From → Blogs

  1. Eleven people and only two internet accesses!!! Holy crap, I live alone and I have three different devices I can go online on! I think I’d go into withdrawal if I was that limited!


    Thank you!!! I just TOTALLY shoved my laptop in Eddie’s face and yelled “LIKE A BOSS!!!!” He’s a little pissed… since he was sound asleep. But I can do whatever I want… Winners are cool like that.

    I would like to say I would answer the questions in tweet format too… But, as you may already have guessed… I’m a wordy Motherfucker.

    Thanks again and SO GLAD to have you back!!



  3. Thank you so much!! I can’t do the post, or answer questions, as I already have this award, but I really appreciate you choosing me. “YOU LIKE ME, YOU REALLY LIKE ME!!”

    This was funny. You’re funny.

    I hate you because you live in Arizona. #jealous

  4. “I am a ray of sunshine shot out of the ass of a unicorn dry-humping a rainbow.” Fuck yeah! I had something very similar to that on my old okcupid profile. Most dudes had no idea how much I meant that.
    Holy shit, thank you for the awards! I will get on this as soon as I get my head out of my ass and start blogging again.

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