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Another Gem of a Post From My Award Winning Blog

September 30, 2012

Before I get going on this blog post, I should point out a pretty big change to my blog.  As a result of my whining on the previous post, I have learned how to make a blogroll for my page.  So, my previously clean and dull page design is now a bit busier.  It’s a lot to take in, maybe, so look it over a bit.  I put some of my favorite blogs in the “Badass Blogs – All Killer No Filler” section.  I put some great artists’ blogs in the “Illustrated Blogs and Web Comics” section (by the way… I plan on renaming that section once I come up with something clever… right now I’ve got nuthin’).  In the “Normal Life Gone Horribly Wrong” section, you can find some observations of humor in the world around us.  The whole thing is a work in progress, so bear with me as I figure out all the awesome blogs I should put over there, and what the thing should look like.  Which brings me to a quick poll…

Sorry I’ve Been Such Crap

I suppose I should apologize or, at the very least, offer an explanation for the lack of posts recently.  I’ve allowed things on here to dwindle to about one post a week lately, and I know that won’t exactly win me many followers.  In the past, my reasoning has been “because I’m lazy… get over it.”  But this time has been a little different.  First of all, I’ve returned to school.  Online school, but still, it’s something.  In doing so, I’ve come to the realization that online college is the modern equivalent of buying a convertible and getting an eighteen year old girlfriend… it’s a glaring sign of a mid-life crisis.  Based on the bulk of people in my awesome University of Phoenix orientation class, it would seem that they should rename it the University of Holy Shit My Life Has NOT Turned Out Like I Planned It.  Phoenix is catchier, though… I guess.  Secondly, it’s football season, which leads me to post three times a week on my fantasy sports blog.  (You should really stop rolling your eyes every time I mention fantasy sports.  It’s rude.  It also won’t make me stop.)  The point here is this: on top of being a full-time student, I’m posting four blogs a week.  It just so happens that only one out of the four has been on here.  Sorry about that.

So, while watching this blog slowly lapse into coma, imagine my surprise when I was given the Versatile Blogger Award!

That’s the Award Winning CrakGenius to You, Buddy

The VBA is one of those blogging equivalents to a chain letter, except that it serves a purpose AND is an honor to receive.  Getting the VBA means that someone out there appreciates how you write, that people are reading these words and paying attention and … incredibly … ENJOYING what they see.  So, for that, I am truly honored to receive the Versatile Blogger Award.  There are, of course, some rules surrounding this award (which I will now copy and paste from the VBA site):

  •  Thank the person who gave you this award. That’s common courtesy.
  •  Include a link to their blog. That’s also common courtesy — if you can figure out how to do it.
  •  Next, select 15 blogs/bloggers that you’ve recently discovered or follow regularly. ( I would add, pick blogs or bloggers that are excellent!)
  •  Nominate those 15 bloggers for the Versatile Blogger Award — you might include a link to [the VBA site].
  •  Finally, tell the person who nominated you 7 things about yourself.


Thank you, Earth2Body Sisters!

I’ve been a quiet reader of the Earth2Body Sisters blog for awhile now.  It’s not the sort of site I seek out… a bit of a mommy blog with loads of crafty projects and tales of thrift store shopping.  See?  As a penis-carrier, that’s really not up my alley.  BUT the two sisters who author the blog are legitimately funny.  I’ve been a less quiet (and often quite vocal) follower of one of the sister’s other blogs and twitter account, where she assumes the boisterous frenetic personality of the great Lucille Ball turned loose on a world full of twitter, ecards, and meme’s gone mad.  But, more on that blog later.  Seriously, E2B Sisters, thank you both so much for this.

Now, 15 Bloggers I’m Nominating

This is, actually, a bit difficult to do.  I honestly don’t follow that many blogs.  I follow a handful of really excellent blogs, which I know will link to other blogs I like.  I did cheat a bit.  I followed the links for the blogs that the E2B’s nominated, and picked some of them to “second the nomination” as it were.  Don’t judge me!

Brilliant Title – Her blog ranges from quiet introspection to outlandish hilarity.  Also, she was the first person to ever comment on my blog!

Cerebral Milkshake – A fellow Arizonan, a warped mind with a twisted sense of humor, and an amazing writer.  What’s not to like?  This has been one of my favorite blogs for the past few months since I first came across it.

Delightfully Ludicrous –  Partly, I love this blog because, due to the international date line, she blogs in the future.  Awesome.  But mostly I love her Australian “geek girl” view of pop culture.

Dirty Hooker – Despite the name, this isn’t “Confessions of a Callgirl – Blog Edition.”  It’s just damn funny stuff from a damn funny ColoradoianColoradoenColoradite… person who recently moved to Colorado.

My Life As Lucille(To Lucille: Tag!  You’re it!  No, I know it isn’t fair to ask you to name ANOTHER 15 blogs, so you probably could just cheat off your Earth2Body page)  This is ONE FUNNY BLOG, and often sparks hilarious comment section conversations, so long as she manages NOT to delete them. 😉  Also, follow her on twitter.  Do it now.  You’ll thank me later.

Sarcastic Art Review Fun Time – Sarcastic Ninja takes classic pieces of art from throughout the ages and reduces them to snarky blogfodder.  Genius!  If there’s one blogger I feel should be exempt from following the rules of being nominated for this award, SARFT is it, as her blog follows a brilliant formula which I would hate to see interrupted for even a single post.

Valerie Nunez and the Flying Platypi – Is “platypi” even a word? No.  Does it matter?  HELL NO.  This chick is super funny, and lives a life filled with zombies, mannequin parts, and other people’s clothing.  Simply epic.

Note: from here on out, the nominees are completely stolen from E2B Sisters page, so I won’t bother including a site synopsis.  Just know that I was glad to find these blogs thanks to the links on E2B Sisters page… so you should totally check them out.

Earth 2 Eddie

Sarcastic Sam

Life’s Too Short to Play Possum

Note: I’m aware that I only have 10 nominees… but… shut up, mmkay?  I’m tired and kickoff is in like 6 and a half hours…

7 Things You Might Not Have Known About Me

  1. I’m 37 years old.  Soon, I’ll be 38.  That puts me somewhere near the blogger retirement age, so far as I can tell.  I’m definitely older than about 90% of the bloggers I read.
  2. I write every blog with the assumption that nobody will read it, then I’m shocked when people do.
  3. Over half the people who have ever come across my blog were searching for funny pictures with the word YOLO in them.  Also, I just realized that I probably shouldn’t have included the word YOLO on this blog… and yet… meh.  Backspace is way over there… sooooo I’m just going to embrace this shit and also tag this thing with YOLO while I’m at it.
  4. The reason I decided to return to school is because writing my “Technically I AM Being Supportive” blogs reminded me of how much I loved that job.  I’m going back for more degrees in the information technology field.
  5. My ex is the mom of SEVEN kids.  When we met, she was already the mother of four boys.  Our first child together was ALSO a boy.  It wasn’t until her sixth child (my second) came along that she finally had a girl.  Since we split up, she has remarried and had… yep… another boy.
  6. After my daughter was born, I had a vasectomy.  It was one of the most horrific and embarrassing things I have ever been through… even worse than the time I was taken to a gay bar with a penis drawn on my face.  The story of the vasectomy AND the story of the trip to the gay bar will be coming soon to this blog.
  7. Every year for Halloween my family all dresses with a theme.  ALL of the family: INCLUDING my ex, her husband, the child they had together, my kids, and myself.  Any of her older kids who are foolish enough to visit at Halloween will find themselves forced to wear a costume and join us.

So… That Pretty Much Wraps It Up

Also, please don’t feel left out if I didn’t give you this award.  I really got to a point where I was just too tired to think tonight… and also some of you (you know who you are) came right out and told me you really didn’t want the pressure of having to pass on this award.  As I’ve written this blog, I’ve added all the people I nominated to my blogroll.  I keep thinking of blogs I want to add, so I’ll probably be adding more in the coming days.  Uhm… that is… to the blogroll.  I’m leaving my Versitile Blogger Award nominations (and seconded nominations) as they are.


From → Blogs

  1. Congratulations on going back to school! What are you studying? Is it something fun, like paranormal psychology or the history of Nintendo, or something responsible that will actually get you a job? When I went back I did archaeology, perhaps THE most useless university degree in the world, unless you’re prepared to move to Europe, but I loved every minute of it.

    And thank you for the award! I do blog from the future, so I always try to make sure I don’t disrupt the timeline by giving away something important like the zombie apocoly….


    • I would just like to note that there should be a degree in Paranormal Psychology in the History of Nintendo. You know there was SOMETHING unnatural with whoever came up with the idea of a series based on an Italian plumber fighting turtles with mushrooms.

      • If there was a course in paranormal psychology in the history of video games, there would be a whole section of the course devoted to the Tails Doll. *shudder* … Can You Feel the Sunshine?

    • It’s something useful… completely un-fun and boring: information technology… though if they offer a class in the history of Nintendo I’ll be all over that. Archaeology sounds AMAZING and interesting!

      I planned on informing all the nominees, but you beat me to the punch. So, you’re most welcome for the award. You totally deserve it!

  2. As a once-a-week blogger, I think that is a perfectly reasonable rate. Also I am quite excited for the upcoming vasectomy and gay-bar-penis-face stories.

    Also also, thank you for the award! I may not follow all of the rules, but I will be including a shoutout in an upcoming post. Need to find a suitably pompous award-themed picture…

  3. I’m seriously *tapping fingers* waiting for the gay bar post! And Jesus, our blog sounds EXTREMELY boring. I feel bad for the 2 people (you & my sister) who visit as a courtesy b/c you’re awesome. I’m actually considering abandoning the E2B blog. Mommy blogging isn’t really my thingy. Finally, I think you’re an amazing writer and I have zero business sharing an award with the likes of you.

    • Well, like I said above, a mommy blog really isn’t the sort of thing I seek out. But E2B is extremely well written, by both yourself and your sister, and the quality of the writing and the humor is what makes that blog worth reading. Frankly, I’d read a blog about plumbing or stamp collecting if it was written well enough. So, I hope you don’t abandon it!
      As for the gay bar post… it’s coming soon. I want to time it to appear near my birthday (October 23rd) as the original story took place as part of a drunken birthday celebration. It’s a harrowing tale full of strippers, fake penises, and dry-humping on a gay bar dance floor.

    • …On a side note: how did they do the pie crust on the pumpkin martini?!

      • Earth2Body Sisters permalink

        I have no idea! I’m going to figure it out though!

  4. YAY!!!! Congrats on your award, returning to school and figuring out the blog roll thing!!! I am still trying to do the last thing. Well, I WAS trying. Then I got lazy. So… You know how that goes.

    Also THANK YOU!!!! I am truly honored. And just in time for VIVA LA VALTEMBER!!!!



    • I barely got it in there in time, huh! Like I said… I was trying to get this thing done on your birthday, but it actually didn’t get done until 3am the next morning. Oh well, you were probably still drinking around then (okay, no, since you’re on the east coast, that would actually be like 6am there, so you were most likely sleeping it off, but whatever).

  5. Thank you, CG!! I’ve been out of the loop for a while, but I’m comin’ back!

    • Well, I know how that goes… obviously. You’ve been busy as well. AND your Edgar Allen Poe post was awesome (seriously, people, click the link to her blog and read that one!). Can’t wait to read your next post 😉

  6. I was on vacation and tried, like, 3 times to respond to this, and 3 times my phone told me to fuck off and die. But thank you for the award! And good luck in school. I’m still trying to figure out what I want to be when grow up.

    • Oh, vacation? I thought you might be having your baby, so I was totally forgiving of your lack of response haha! And you’re welcome! You totally deserve it.

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

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