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  1. I had never heard of this guy before, but “Dr. Oz” sounds like the perfect person to endorse bogus miracles…just pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

    • Dr. Oz is the person every American get’s their medical advice from. I mean, you know, it’s better than WebMD.

      Nah… just kidding. Dr. Oz is WAY worse.

    • DEAR SWEET FANCIFUL MOSES!!! I never thought of that! He is the man behind the curtain! Toting his ‘miracles’ and cure-alls, and fancy potions and seeds, and always making you measure this and how you have to eat this and that ‘every day!!’ and stripes! I always thought of him as “Moprah” You know Man-Oprah.. But this is better!

      • Yeah… the herbal supplement companies must keep him well paid. Anyway, I thought Dr. Phil was Moprah and Dr. Oz was more… I don’t know… the medical version of Jerry Springer. Dr. Jerry?

  2. “How does one link to a webpage or a video from a telegram, anyway?” Love it! I think Dr. Oz is just creepy.

    • Yeah. He definitely has the creepster vibe. But, you know, he’s a doctor, which apparently negates all creepiness… somehow?

  3. This is fucking great!!! I need to do this to some of my spammers. And the best part is that they can’t get mad at you. You’re doing this for their benefit. I mean, I’m not buying shit from someone that over hyphenates. That’s just a given.



    • Spam emails are horribly annoying.. but spam comments on blogs are infinitely worse. Why? Why are they so poorly written (to the point of being nonsensical)? Why are they always trying to sell people on improving the look of their blogs (guess what fuckers… mine looks simple BECAUSE I WANT IT TO)? Why, oh why, do they KEEP TRYING?!

      Also, yeah, hyphens? That’s a one way ticket to losing all credibility.

  4. Seriously_whats_ur_issue_with_HypHens_?_I_DON’t_C_the_issue_._

    • Frankly,_I-don’t-know_why_they-bothered_me_in-the=first+place.%All^inserted#characters]should~be>fine<by*me.

  5. I’m reading this while I’m eating a Snickers bar, which is ironic in that way that’s not ironic at all but just sort of interesting, but only to me.

    I was told that spammers used awful spelling and grammar to try to get around spam filters. Like, your spam filter might catch “penis fucking weasels,” but it might not catch “phenus fawking weasels.” I have no idea whether that’s true.

    • Is there a way to change the spam filter settings? Because if anyone EVER sends me an email with the subject line “penis fucking weasels,” that is one email I want to read. I don’t want the visual (which would be HORRIFYING), but to read whatever followed would be priceless.

  6. You know, I’m pretty sure they’re supposed to get the Pope to declare it a miracle, not just decide themselves that it’s divine intervention. Uncool, Dr Oz, very uncool.

  7. I would take health advice from the CEO of Hostess or a crack dealing hobo before listening to Dr. Oz. He sucks HORRIBLY.

    • Yeah but to be fair the crack dealing Hobo has all that real world experience Dr. Oz lacks. Good call there.

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